Love yourself like your life depends on it… because it does... -Anita Moorjani
We all spend times in our lives when we forget this and today I really want to remind you of the importance of this statement ...the importance of self love. I will share my experience with you of how I learnt this valuable lesson and also share with you some practical ways, if you have forgotten of how to love your beautiful divine self.
The biggest reason I feel we forget about self love is that we often spend our time trying to feel loved by others, our partners, lovers, family members, work members and in that process self love becomes less of a priority, then… the self love is forgotten, then, lost really.
We sometimes get stuck in cycles to, where we feel we need to conform to others expectations of us, live to Others values .We want so badly to feel part of, we want to fit in and ultimately we just want to feel loved, so along these paths we follow.
We can spend so much of our time looking for love in all the wrong places, the love we are looking for is never going to be found out there, it has to be found within first. Then we have a chance of attracting a love much more in aligned with that we desire. That’s another blog though ;)
When looking for love externally we forget about ourselves, we become less important and well eventually end up in some form of either emotion mental or physical, sometimes, quite often, a health crisis.
This happens for so many different reasons and everyone story is slightly different but fundamental the feelings left are the same.
Our upbringing, conditioning, personality, religious beliefs, learnt behaviors are just a few examples of why we end up in this place.
I believe this is one of our biggest truths to be found here in this lifetime. That love of oneself is the key to all love. So at some point we all will have this lesson in some form or another until we get it, until we really understand it, then, it will sit as the blessing it is, rather than a painful lesson that keeps coming up.
The last few years of my second marriage were defiantly a lesson in this for me. Even with all my knowledge and understanding and experience I still had to really feel this one again and again until I finally got it ...on all levels ...and understood the depth of its importance.
We married, it was amazing in a whirl of lust and new young love. Nine years later, vowels had been broken, promises broken again and again.
Self love would have taken me out of the situation years before, but the story of my past, kept me there. My fears of making a "mistake”. My need to fit in with society. My fear what would people think about me... my concerns for my children... My total all consuming love of another, all kept me there. My need to try and make somebody love me that clearly was unable to... my need to show them that I was loveable, ultimately my lack of self love kept me in a situation that was clearly killing me.
Until I realized my life depended on me loving me again. Then it changed.
It was probably a combination of events that brought me to that place.
Night after night I sat waiting for my husband to come home. For years I sat waiting for him to choose me, Choose me over work, choose me over other women. Choose me to love.
Crying on a daily basis was my normal. I felt so lost, so broken, so utterly lonely… feelings of total desperation at times. Yet I knew deep inside my needs my values my morals were never going to be matched in such a relationship, but I had this totally over whelming feeling of wanting love, to be loved, and at the time I looked at him for that. I loved him so deeply and I put that before the love of myself and I wanted that love in return.
Then thank fully things changed, though a combination of events.
A friend I had not seen for a long time came to stay with me, I remember her looking at me in such a sad yet honest way. She said what has happened to you. What are you doing... where has your love of self gone Sarah... How can you of all people live like this.
Then more lies and sad truths unraveled.
One of the major turning points for me though was sitting in a doctors surgery after I had a call back from a routine test and hearing the words Cancer said to me. That really did it.
It was time to love me again.
I made all the changes I knew needed to happen. I began listening to that voice inside. Started looking after me and loving me again. I put me first again.
I completely went with in.
Each week I went from strength to strength. I was alone but the loneliness was gone.
I began healing every part of me that felt broken. It wasn't an easy journey at first but it was actually easier than the life I had been living for years before.
Eventually I was grateful to my ex-husband for what he had taught me.
I now get it, deeper than I have ever understood any thing. I now understand what a gift that whole journey had been, as totally heart breaking as it was, it taught me so much about self love.
I COME FIRST.... I HAVE TOO... and...I LOVE MYSELF LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT... Because I know it does.
After Six months of loving me and valuing me I decided to re test my previous diagnosis.
and YES.. it now showed up 'normal' much to the doctors surprise.
I now believe and know on every level that self love is the key to living a happy healthy life. It’s the key to living really. It is also the key to having great relationships.
How can anyone learn to love you when you don't love yourself first?
Once that deep love is found inside it will reflect out, that's what you will show to the world that you deserve and that's what will be attracted back to you.
We must love our selves and never stop... not for anything!!!!
Sometimes our lessons can be tough, but if we get what they come to teach us, we never have to repeat them.
I get asked a lot... so how do I start loving me again...
Here is some things I recommend and feel are keys to self love.
ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF FIRST. YOU ARE NO 1
ACKNOLEDGE YOUR DIVINITY YOUR INDIVIDUALITY AND YOUR TOTAL BEAUTY
SPEND TIME DOING WHAT YOU LOVE AND ENJOY
DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO FOR YOURSELF
BE LOYAL TO YOUR SELF
ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT SO OTHERS CANT TELL YOU
STATE YOUR BOUNDARIES AND STICK TO THEM, THIS ALLOWS OTHERS TO RESPECT YOU
TAKE CARE WITH YOUR CLOTHING AND TAKE PRIDE IN HOW YOU PRESENT YOURSELF
TAKE CARE WITH YOUR DIET
KEEP YOUR HOME CLEAN AND TIDY
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
TAKE TIME TO RELAX AND FIND A FORM OF MEDITATION THAT SUITS YOU
LEARN FORM EVERYTHING YOU DO, NEVER JUDGE YOURSELF
SEE THE WONDER AND BEAUTY AROUND YOU
BUY YOURSELF TREATS
GO EASY ON YOURSELF
FIND SOMETHING EACH DAY, A QUALITY THAT YOU LIKE /LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF
PLEASE REMEBER TOO, THAT PEOPLE THAT TRUELY LOVE THEMSELVES DO NOT DRINK TO EXCESS OR TAKE MIND ALTERING DRUGS.
In Love always and forever,